


Why he cries, why they laugh

by chessdaze



Series: Onyx the Revenant [2]
Category: Code Vein (Video Game)
Genre: Amnesia, Flashbacks, Gen, Jumps around the story a lot, M/M, hope it doesn't seem too confusing, pairings very slight and more towards louis/protag but, spoilers for the whole game p much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21542644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chessdaze/pseuds/chessdaze
Summary: It was hard to believe ‘emotionless’ was a word they used to use to describe Onyx at one point in time. If anything, now he was the most emotional out of all of them. Louis couldn’t bring himself to be surprised when Onyx started crying when Eva sang for Jack, sang for all of them.A long piece about the protag after visiting the vestige containing their memories and how it brings back some of their old personality.
Relationships: Louis & Protagonist (Code Vein), Protagonist & Jack Rutherford
Series: Onyx the Revenant [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537732
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	Why he cries, why they laugh

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO POST THIS FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS NOW. But my life has been...really hectic and I'm dealing with a lot of issues - emotionally and physically as I've been really sick. Thankfully, I seem to have worked through most of them and this is something I've been wanting to post since before all the issues really started. I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know if you do and if you'd like to read more about Onyx!

A scream jolted Yakumo awake. 

Not that he had fallen asleep exactly, but the warm light of the mistle almost had him there for a moment. Lured him into a false sense of security, had him closing his eyes and breathing easy. He grunts out a curse as he hurries to his feet. “Onyx!” He calls out, pulling his heavy sword out of the ground. No response. That wasn’t good.

He jogged out of the room and back into the bright light of the day. The Cathedral of Sacred Blood was eerily quiet with all the enemies nearby defeated, the scream had been the only sound he had really heard in the last few minutes. 

Speaking of-

He rushes down the pathway to find Onyx at the end of it, curled up on the ground with a vestige clenched tightly in his hand. He had asked to view this vestige alone, for some reason. He said it had felt different, said he could handle it on his own. Yakumo trusted him of course, but...seeing Onyx now, he can’t help but wonder if he made a mistake.

“Onyx? Onyx!” He kneels down next to the other, careful not to touch the vestige he’s holding as he turns the shorter revenant onto his back. Onyx looked like he had seen a ghost - or something much more terrifying. He was shaking like a leaf and  **_crying_ ** . Yakumo never thought he’d see the day-

Finally, he gets a reaction, Onyx gripping onto Yakumo’s sleeve with his free hand. “Ya...Ya—” Onyx tried to speak, but couldn’t. He quickly pulls Onyx up to a seated position. 

“Shh, don’t try to talk. I got you.” Yakumo kept a hand on Onyx’s back, he was shaking so much he’d likely fall over again if he didn’t support the other. For a moment the only sound between them was Onyx’s choked sobs and heavy breathing. The longer it went on, the more Yakumo realized it wasn’t going to stop. Not anytime soon. “Hey—” He reached over, cupping the side of Onyx’s face and making him look up - only to gasp at what he saw.

One Blood red eye and one Neon Blue. He had seen both before - one when a Revenant was on the verge of frenzy, the other when Onyx used his powers. It wouldn’t be so odd, he would have just thought it was an aftereffect of Onyx going into a memory by himself if he also didn’t see black veins pulsing up Onyx’s neck and onto his face.

He was going to frenzy.

“ _ Shit _ .” Onyx tried to speak again, but Yakumo didn’t allow him a moment to try. He quickly looped his hands underneath the Onyx’s legs, the other grabbing around his back and then hoisted Onyx into his arms as he stood up. “I got you, just hang on.” The grip on his shirt becomes tighter and Yakumo dashes towards the mistle. He didn’t have any blood beads on him, of all the rotten luck! He only hoped Onyx could last until he could get them back to the base. Never had he been more thankful for the mistle’s ability to teleport than this very moment. 

Getting to the mistle and teleporting to the base was simple enough, but the trouble was just beginning.

“Hey!” He yelled out into the halls of the wrecked church. “I need a blood bead! Now!” He couldn’t chance moving, Onyx needed the support and he needed to be able to restrain him in case...Yakumo didn’t want to think about it. Instead, he knelt more comfortably and wrapped both of his arms around Onyx. 

Davis, ever vigilant and always next to the entrance, came rushing up the ramp and towards the mistle. Onyx was still shaking, still crying, and still clinging desperately to Yakumo. “He’s on the verge of frenzy-!” Yakumo explained, though Davis seemed to know at a glance.

“I have a blood bead!” It was so rare to hear her panicked and rushed, Yakumo almost didn’t realize it was Coco that spoke up. She came rushing over, pushing the bead into Davis’s hand. He had more experience dealing with revenants about to frenzy, so it was a good call. 

“Careful of the vestige he’s holding. He won’t let it go.” Yakumo was surprised Onyx had even managed to hold onto it. Davis nodded before pulling Onyx’s other hand off of Yakumo’s shirt.

“C’mon now Onyx, you need to drink this.” Onyx hiccuped, choking down another sob as now both of his eyes flashed bright red. “You aren’t joining the Lost today.” Davis’s voice was surprisingly soothing as he helped Onyx steady his breathing long enough to take the blood bead and start drinking from it. 

It was like he was holding an infant child, Yakumo couldn’t help but think as he watched Onyx slowly drain the blood bead. Curling into himself to appear smaller, crying and needed to be cared for. He never thought he’d make that sort of connection with their strong, brave, ace explorer. By the time the blood bead was completely drained, Onyx’s shaking had subsided somewhat and everyone had gathered within a few feet of the mistle - not exactly crowding them but close enough to see what was happening. The empty bead was taken from Onyx by Davis, who after setting it to the side held Onyx’s face in his hands and looked him over. His eyes weren’t glowing anymore, and the veins had retreated, but-

His eyes were still more red than their usual soft pink. 

“Do we have one more we can give him? Just to be safe.” Davis asked, letting go of Onyx’s face and looking towards the crowd. Onyx’s head rolled onto Yakumo’s shoulder, and now both hands were gripping the vestige. 

“Of course. I’ll go get one.” Louis quickly ran off.

“He’s well enough that we can move him at least, let’s get him to one of the back rooms,” Davis said, standing up. Yakumo nodded and adjusted his grip before standing up with Onyx in his arms once again. Mia ran ahead, saying something about getting the room ready, Coco, Io, and Rin quickly parted to let Davis and Yakumo through. He could hear them talking, Coco saying to give them some space before he walked out of earshot and down the hallway to the back rooms. Io was the only one who had followed. They went into the closest room, Mia having pulled back the covers and propped up the pillows against the headboard. Yakumo slowly put Onyx onto the bed, there was a slight noise of protest - but considering it wasn’t anything like the scream he had heard earlier, Yakumo didn’t pay much mind to it. Louis walked in a few moments later and handed a blood bead over to Davis, who proceeded to step next to the bed and help Onyx drink once again. Io hovered next to Davis, sitting on the edge of the bed.

The three companions stood nervously nearby, “What happened?” Louis asked almost instantly.

“I-I don’t know,” Yakumo said, shaking his head. “He asked for me to wait by a mistle while he viewed that vestige-”

“You didn’t go with him?” Mia questioned. “What were you-”

“He asked me not to, so I didn’t.” Yakumo quickly snapped, narrowing his eyes at the shorter woman. “He wanted to view it alone and I respected his space.” They all gave a glance towards Onyx, who had just finished drinking out of the second blood bead. He seemed much calmer now, though still appeared to be crying. Io gave comforting words as Davis patted the top of Onyx’s pink and black hair. He was also still gripping onto the vestige. “I don’t know what he saw, but he suddenly started screaming. When I got over to him he was already starting to frenzy.”

“You did good, Yakumo,” Louis said, patting his shoulder. The redhead looked over as he continued, “You saved his life, getting him here as fast as you did.”

“Yeah…” Yakumo grumbled, looking down at his feet for a moment. Soon another set of feet entered his vision and he looked up, seeing Davis now standing in front of them. “Well?”

“He should be fine, but that was a close call.” Davis shook his head. “I don’t think he should go out into the field for a while.”

“Good idea,” Louis said with a nod. “We’ll take it from here Davis, thank you.” Louis shook Davis’s hand, and the soldier nodded before leaving the room. The three looked at each other before looking at the two on the bed. Io had crawled onto the other side of Onyx, rubbing soothing motions on his arm while he continued to cry - more silently now. 

“Hey…” Mia was the first to speak up, walking over to the side of the bed. Onyx looked up through his bangs at her. “Let’s let your hair down, it’s probably not comfortable sitting back against it like that.” She smiled softly. He nodded, leaning forward slightly so Mia could reach the loop the back of his hair was put in. She carefully took out the bow and pin that kept the black locks in place, and it fell down against his back. Sometimes they forgot how long Onyx’s hair really was, the back of it almost went down to the small of his back, so Mia and Io pushed it forward so it was laying across his front. They also undid the braids the shorter locks around his face were tied into, though they had almost become completely undone by themselves in the middle of everything. “Let me brush this out for you, it’s a mess!” Mia looked around for a brush, and Yakumo tossed it to her as he found it on a shelf near him.

Louis and Yakumo simply watched as the girls fussed over Onyx. Louis could only chuckle to himself, and Yakumo raised an eyebrow at him. “She really is a big sister,” Louis spoke softly. “I can remember my sister treating me similarly when I was sick.” 

Yakumo could only smile and look back towards the three on the other side of the room. After a few minutes Mia seemed satisfied and put the brush back on the shelf it was found. She had pulled his hair into a loose braid over his shoulder, claiming that it would be better for him to rest with. She had also taken his headphones off and put them on the shelf as well. 

“Thanks, Mia.” Onyx spoke finally, hoarsely - like that one scream had taken all of his voice from him and he was only now getting it back.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mia said, clasping her hands behind her back.

They all fell into an awkward silence, them watching as Onyx turned the vestige around in his hands. “Onyx..about that vestige…-” Louis was the one who was brave enough to ask. Onyx noticeably tensed, his fingers curling tighter around the stone. “What did you see? Whose memories are in that stone?”

“....Mine.”

Silence fell again, but not so much awkward as a shocked silence. “ _ Yours _ ?” Yakumo asked, taking a step forward. “Are you sure? I mean-” 

He had  _ screamed _ ,  _ cried _ , went into a  **frenzy** . What had he seen in his own memories that would cause such a reaction?!

“I’m sure.” Onyx finally unlatched his hands from the stone - and while it was red like most vestiges were, the edges were stained black. It was a strange sight, considering the edges of vestiges were normally blue, or a brighter red. But these were pitch black. 

Just like the stones around Onyx’s wrist. Just like his name.

The vestige almost looked like it was **made** out of _onyx_.

He covered it up again, putting it into his lap as he sighed. Finally, he reached up to rub the tears off of his face, though the trails had stained his skin a long time ago. “I...I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you sure?” Mia asked.

“....Not yet, at least.” Onyx said in a mumble.

“That’s fine, take all the time you need,” Louis said before Mia could speak up again. She looked back at him, and he gave both her - and Yakumo - a pointed look. “We’ll let you rest, let us know if you need anything.”

“...There is one thing.”

“What is it?” Louis asked with a tilt of his head. 

“...Onigiri?” Onyx asked, reaching out his hand for Yakumo. There’s silence before Yakumo let out a burst of barking laughter.

“Oh, is that all?” Yakumo shook his head and reached under his blood veil for the pouch he kept on his belt. Sheesh, he gives him a heart attack and then demands food from him? What the hell. “Had two blood beads and you’re _still_ hungry?” Still, Yakumo couldn’t help but smile as he pulled out the treat and walked across the room to hand it over to Onyx. “You gave me a scare, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” Onyx mumbled, taking a bite out of the riceball. “Thank you, Yakumo.”

Yakumo sighed, giving a smile as he ruffled the top of Onyx’s hair. “Hey! I took the time to brush his hair, don’t ruin it!” Mia scolded and pulled Yakumo away from Onyx.

“Hey-!”

“Enough you two, let’s give him some space.” Louis shoved them both out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Onyx smiled and looked down at the Onigiri, then finally let go of the vestige long enough to tear it in half and give the other half to Io. She took it silently and took a bite, the two of them ate in silence until the food was gone. 

“Will you tell me?” Io asked.

“...I-I’ll be honest, Io…” Onyx sighed, leaning his head against her shoulder. “I don’t know where to start.”

“You can take your time as Louis said.” She said, patting down the locks that Yakumo had messed up moments ago.”You can rest first if you’d like.”

“...Yeah...Yeah, I think I will.” Onyx turned the vestige over in his hands once more before he slowly started to drift off. 

Io couldn’t help but notice, as she stayed still for hours to let him rest against her, that he cried a lot while he slept.  
  


* * *

“If the resting successors join the ranks of the lost, then the seals will break. The relics will be released, and the Queen will be reborn. Before that happens…-”

She turned to stone before she could finish.

Silence fell over the group, Louis had to look away for a moment to compose himself. Aurora’s hard work and sacrifice would not be in vain, he swore it. When he opened his eyes again to look at Aurora, he was surprised to see Onyx standing in front of her. The silence was finally broken, as soft sobs escaped his lips.

“Onyx-” Louis reached out a hand but faltered as he watched Onyx caress the side of Aurora’s face. He lowered his hand, watching as he cried and leaned his forehead against hers. “Onyx...you...did you know Aurora?” No, No he couldn’t have. If he had, they would have likely met much earlier than they had...right?

He doesn’t answer, instead, the three companions barely had time to blink before a light was blinding them.

“This is-!” Was that Aurora’s voice?

The blinding light vanished, and they were back in the church, Onyx stepping away from the oversized vestige as it started to glow. The beast they had just fought regenerated within seconds, but it was calm. It was- “So then, it appears that fate has seen to revive me one more time.”

Louis gapped for a moment before taking a step forward. “Are you really alright?”

“Yes..I’m fine, actually.” The wolf head turned to face him. “The relic is sleeping soundly now.” The head shifts, looking towards Onyx now. Louis looked over as well to see Onyx sniffling, attempting to stop his tears as Mia did her best to console him. “And you…” Onyx looked up, “I take it you’re the one who gave me back my lost heart?” The revenant nodded, furiously almost, and a chuckle rumbled through the successor. “Ever the crybaby, aren’t you? C’mon Onyx, I’m fine.”

“ _ Aurora…— _ ” Onyx gasped, and she put a large hand down for him to grasp onto, “I’m sorry Aurora!  _ I’m so, so sorry _ !” Onyx cried louder as he clung to her hand. 

Louis closed his eyes and clenched his fist. “I’m sorry too….” He said, thinking his apology would be drowned out by Onyx’s sobs. He would be fine with that- but soon a hand was in front of him as well. His eyes widened a fraction, but he sighed and put a hand on one of her fingers. 

“No Louis. It’s all right. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I’ve forced all the burden onto you…” She looks over all of them, and as she does so Onyx seems to have calmed down. Aurora wipes his face carefully with her large fingers, earning a soft laugh from the gifted one, before her attention fixated on Louis once more. She lowered her head down so they were more at eye level. “Please Louis...I’m asking you one more time: Go visit the person who lies beyond the gate.”

Almost comically, a sound of a yawn echoes throughout the halls. “Sorry…” Aurora said, “I need to sleep for a while...it’s been so long...since I’ve been this drowsy.”

The group helped Aurora over to the side of the room where she laid down and fell asleep in seemingly no time at all. Louis stared as Onyx patted her wolf head, sniffling still as he tried to stop crying. “Onyx…”

“Later.” Onyx said, pulling his hand away from Aurora and picking up his spear. “We’ll talk about it later.” He looked back at Louis and gave a smile that almost made  _ him  _ cry. “You have someone to see.”

“R...Right….”

Did Onyx know who it was? If he knew Aurora then….

* * *

“Are you okay?” Yakumo asked, putting a hand on Onyx’s shoulder. He was standing with his back facing ‘the source’. He had pulled Onyx and Mia away to give Louis some time to accept his sister’s fate - and the second he did Onyx started crying. Again. He had cried so much since he had found that vestige of his memories. He still hadn’t told any of them what he had seen. Granted it had only been a week, but still - after he broke down in front of Aurora, and now this...Yakumo couldn’t help but wonder if it was all connected. 

“Mhmm.” He mumbled, wiping his eyes. “I’m...glad to see she’s still alive, at least.”

“So you  _ do  _ know her,” Mia spoke up softly. “And Aurora.”

“I  _ knew  _ them. Once upon a time.” He said, shaking his head. “I still don’t remember, really.”

“But that vestige….-”

“Yeah...Yeah, I saw them in it. I  _ knew  _ them.” He knew them. He failed them. He failed so many people. “But I don’t  _ remember  _ them.” He bites his lip, not being able to bring himself to say anything more. Yakumo was about to ask if he was alright when he heard Louis walking up to them.

* * *

“ **You** !” The hunter gasped out.

It was as if he and Onyx shared a mind for a single moment, both of them thought of the same memory. They’re back on the battlefield, the Queen is dead to his right, and he’s staring down Jack as he raises his hand to attack.

_ “Your resolve ...was truly admirable.”  _

_ “Sleep well-” _

_ “Hey...Jack? Did...Did I ever tell you why I cry so much?” _

“I destroyed you with my own hands!” Onyx stumbles back a step as ‘The Hunter’ proclaims this statement, hand over his chest. His mind didn’t remember the action, but his body felt as if it was on fire, and the scene that he saw in the vestige flashed before his eyes. “How are you here now?!”

Onyx raised his weapon higher, tears stinging the edges of his eyes. No, No he couldn’t let that memory overtake him again - not right now, at least. 

Even if it made so many things make sense. Even if it made him feel just a little more whole. Not now. Don’t start crying now.

_ You cry for others _ , he reminds himself,  _ you don’t have time to cry for yourself - pull it together! _

“You know, you could join us Carrier of the Blood.” the words snap Onyx out of his self-rant. “That power of yours...it would be a shame to waste such a resource.”

“Careful.” Onyx’s head snaps to look at Yakumo as he spoke, “He’s stronger than he looks.”

“We’ll do our best to shield you.” Louis’s voice grounds him, and he releases a shaky breath as Louis stands in a guarded position in front of him. “Just remember to protect your heart.” Onyx hesitates only for a moment, but Mia attacking first finally gets him to snap completely out of it.

Right. He had friends he needed to protect. He couldn’t space out now. He could cry later.

He always cried later. 

* * *

He cried at every successor they met after that. Onyx sat down next to Mia and the stone Nicola before hugging him as he cried to restore him like he had Aurora. He cried when Mia came rushing to catch up with them, picking her up and spinning her around before they both fell into the snow with a tearful laugh shared.

He had held Yakumo’s hand as he wrapped an arm around Emily’s stone body and cried into her shoulder before she was restored. He cried when Emily spoke once more after being restored, and she panicked as she tried to comfort him - which made Onyx both laugh and cry. 

Every time Io helped him restore a vestige, every time he helped someone remember something or someone from their past, tears were shed. 

It was hard to believe ‘emotionless’ was a word they used to use to describe Onyx at one point in time. If anything, now he was the most emotional out of all of them. Louis couldn’t bring himself to be surprised when Onyx started crying when Eva sang for Jack, sang for all of them. Louis reached out to hold Onyx’s hand, doing his best to silently comfort him. Onyx gripped his hand back tightly, taking a step forward to stand closer to Louis and almost cling to his side. 

Eva slowly turned to stone, and a silence fell over the memory. Jack didn’t move for a good minute, but when he finally pulled away - so did Onyx. Louis let Onyx’s hand fall from his as he quickly made his way over to Jack and Eva. The three companions looked between each other and decided to keep their distance.

“You…” Jack spoke softly as he turned to Onyx. “You’re crying.”

“Yeah...Yeah I-I do that.” Onyx laughed softly, tears streaming still. Jack shook his head and reached over. But Onyx flinched, and Jack hesitated - his hand hovering over Onyx’s face. The pink and black-haired revenant took a deep breath before smiling at the hunter, and Jack took this as a sign to continue his motion, placing a hand on Onyx’s face and slowly brushing away his tears. 

“You don’t have to keep doing that,” Jack spoke softly, though Onyx was unsure for a moment if he was still talking to him or if this was something left unsaid for the one who had just turned to stone.

“You know why I do.” 

Louis, Yakumo, and Mia shared a confused look between each other. They had guessed at this point that Jack and Onyx had some kind of past, but how deep did that run?

“Yeah...I guess I do.” Jack laughed, but it was weak, choked almost. Onyx put his hand over the one on his face, leaning into Jack’s touch. It was off-putting, somewhat. Considering Onyx had flinched away from him a moment ago.

As he should. After all, Jack was the one that ‘killed’ him. Jack was the reason he couldn’t remember anything - knowing that it was a fear of Onyx’s even before the operation had begun. He wasn’t sure if it still was, but if the tears were anything to go by….

Even after losing his memories, Onyx hadn’t changed a bit. 

“But still...you don’t have to.”

Onyx slowly pulled Jack’s hand down, and Jack let him - watching Onyx carefully as he took a step forward. He pulled Jack’s hand up, resting it on top of Eva’s head along with his own hands. “What are you-” Jack starts but gets cut off by a blinding light. 

When they could all finally see again, they were back in the desert, back in the crypt. And in front of them, yet another miracle occurred. Eva returned to normal, surprisingly in her own body.

“Eva!” Jack gasped. He wanted to step forward, pull her into his arms and never let her go ever again, but his body freezes. He can’t bring himself to do so, not when he had thought he had said goodbye to her forever. This was a dream, right? It had to be a dream-

“Eva! She’s back to normal!” Mia exclaimed next to him. 

“Amazing...Did she resist the relics effect?” Jack slowly started to relax, taking in a deep breath as Louis spoke. “Maybe it’s because we were there to treat her immediately.” 

It was only when Eva spoke, though, that he had the courage to step forward. As he did so, she was smiling at Onyx. Poor kid was wiping his face and trying to stop crying, “Thank you. You held the thread of my tattered heart together.”

“Eva…” Her attention turns to him, and his throat is as dry as the desert that surrounded them. “I..I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” She said with that knowing look on her face. She was always able to read him like a book. “Would you let me stay with you a while longer?” She asked with a tilt of her head. He almost laughed.

“Do you even need to ask?” They looked at each other for a moment, before Jack was nodding - silent permission given. She wasted no time taking use of that permission, stepping forward to hug him, and he eagerly returned the gesture. 

The other four at the scene looked away, giving them another moment together. Yakumo and Mia were on either side of Onyx, patting his shoulders and trying to help him to stop crying. Onyx was smiling, at least. Smiling as he mumbled phrases like ‘I’m okay’ and ‘i’m sorry I’m a mess’ through the tears and hiccups.

“ **Kid**.” Jack speaking up had the four of them turning around to look at them. Their moment was over, though their weapons were still stuck in the ground instead of in their hands. “Get over here.”

“Wha-”

“I won’t say it again,” Jack said, not looking at them directly but holding an arm out.

Onyx stared for a moment, and then faster than the three of them could blink- He was rushing across the sand. Another blink and Onyx was all but completely tackling Jack and Eva into a large bear hug. Just when everyone had thought his tears had flooded the desert enough to make vegetation grow once more, he was crying  _ again _ . He sobbed into Jack’s jacket, repeating apologies over and over. He clung to Eva’s arm, saying how happy he was that she was alright. 

“Who knew one person could cry so much,” Yakumo said with a shake of his head and putting a hand on his hip.

“It makes you wonder…” Louis mumbled, cupping his hand around his chin. “What did he mean when he said Jack knew why he cried…..”

“Later,” Mia said, waving a hand. “Onyx said he’d explain it later. Let’s trust him on that.”

“Yeah,” Louis said, shaking his head. “You’re right.”

“Course I am.” She giggled before walking over to the hug pile - of which Jack was desperately trying to weasel himself out of. 

* * *

Though time was of the essence, they had all decided to head back to the base for the day. They were all exhausted after traversing through a desert that literally drained them of their strength. Rin rushed over to Eva to make sure she was okay, and Eva apologized for causing so much trouble. Of course, it was never any trouble for Rin, she was just happy everyone made it back safe. Still, that didn't stop her from hovering around Eva to make sure that she was okay, pulling her over to the weapon station where everyone else gathered. Well, everyone but Jack and Louis. The two of them had taken up spots near the couches on the other side of the room, and while Louis was trying to focus on their next plan of attack, his eyes would betray him and stray over towards the older revenant. _What was his connection to Onyx? Why did Jack know so much about Onyx? Why he cried? Could they really trust him? Did Jack know how his sister decided to become a successor?_ He hadn't even realized he had been staring until Jack spoke up. 

“You’ve been staring for a while.” Jack’s voice cut through the cloud of thoughts and caused Louis’s head to snap up. 

“Was I? Sorry, I didn’t intend t-”

“It’s alright,” Jack said shaking his head. He motioned with his hand for Louis to follow him out to the terrace. Everyone else was gathered around Rin’s station or the bar, no one noticed Jack walking out to the terrace. Louis tilted his head before following after him, also going unnoticed. The older man leaned up against the rubble next to the ledge, and Louis stood beside him.

“You want to know, don’t you?”

“...I’m not following,” Louis said, raising an eyebrow.

“Why Onyx cries so much. How we know each other. You want to know.”

“I…-” How was he supposed to react when he was caught red-handed? Jack chuckled at his hesitation. “I was waiting until Onyx was comfortable enough to talk about it.”

“He’s not going to if he can help it.” Jack said, crossing his arms and looking out over the Gaol.”He only told me because he - we - thought it would be his last words.”

“So you really did…-”

“Kill him? Yes.” Jack says it so nonchalantly, it was no wonder he was considered a hunter. THE hunter. “I was hoping to spare him from becoming one of the Lost, didn’t think he would survive that fall - but that’s a whole other story.” He looked back towards Louis. “THAT one, he might at least be able to tell you, one day.”

“So he’d be willing to tell me how you _ killed him _ , but not why he cries so much?”

“Yeah.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then - Louis is chuckling. It would have escalated into full-blown laughter had he not stopped himself. “Somehow-” He reaches up to cover his hand with his mouth. “Somehow that fits perfectly.”

“Doesn’t it?” Jack chuckled himself. “Look, I don’t want to make it seem like he’ll never tell you. He might. But I’ll be honest...I’m worried.”

Louis can’t help but stare for a moment. Never did he think he’d be having this kind of conversation with Jack. He was  _ the hunter _ , he was _ a watcher _ , he seemed like the kind of person to keep his distance. Then again, after the moments he witnessed first hand with Eva, and the memories of hers that they had all had seen, he should know better than to judge a book by its cover.

“And you decided to tell only me, why?”

“Because Onyx seems to trust you the most.”

“You haven’t been here long, how can you tell?”

Jack stared at him as if he had just asked a stupid question. Had he? Jack shakes his head. “I have an eye for these kinds of things.” If that was supposed to be a joke, it was a bad one. Louis crosses his arms and waits for Jack to continue. “I just don’t want him going beyond his limits again. The last fight we went into together ...where I killed him...He went in fully expecting to die,  _ wanting  _ it even. If he frenzies, I plan to follow through with my duty. But if we can avoid that, then all the better.”

“All of that worry is connected to why he cries so much?”

“He’s a bleeding heart.” Jack explained. “His actions are tied directly to how he feels, and he’s overly emotional as you’ve no doubt figured out.” Louis nodded, urging him to continue. “Onyx’s last words to me….”

* * *

_ “Hey...Jack? Did...Did I ever tell you why I cry so much?” _

_ Jack hesitates, lowering his hand. “What are you doing?!” Silva barked. _

_ “This soldier just killed the Queen, he should at least be able to have his final words.” Honestly, it was miraculous that he had managed to hold on this long without frenzying. But he was fighting a losing battle. He stumbled closer to the edge of the cliff, gripping the front of his uniform jacket and gasping for air. His eyes were bright blue, bluer than the sky used to be, bluer than any ocean. Veins crawled across his face as his fangs seemed to grow in size. Yeah, he wouldn’t last too much longer. “Go on kid, tell us.” Jack’s hand raises back up, ready to fire as soon as he finishes - or sooner if he succumbs quicker than any of them expect. “Why do you cry?” _

_“Be...Because...you won’t.” Jack’s fingers twitch, and even Silva doesn’t seem to know what to do with that response. “No one...No one here cries - have you noticed? You throw them to their deaths, they forget their closest friends - and no one...no one lets themselves care.” Onyx’s hair unravels as he lifts his head to_ _look at them. He’s crying, long locks sticking to the tear trails on his face. “Silva...Silva I just_ ** _killed_** _your_ ** _daughter_** _.”_

_ “What you killed was not her-” _

_ “You’re wrong! You’re wrong and you don’t even know it because you haven’t let yourself feel a  _ **_thing_ ** _ since she frenzied!” Onyx said with more bite than all of the troops in this operation had in their pinky. No one had ever been able to backtalk to Silva like that since this all started- “And Jack-” He choked, and Jack steadied his shaking hand (when had he started shaking?), “How many of your own soldiers have you had to kill?” _

_ “I kill as mercy.” _

_ “That doesn’t mean you don’t feel bad about it!” Onyx takes a step forward, Jack shoots at his feet to cause him to stop. Onyx hisses but doesn’t stop in his rant. How is he even still conscious? How has he not succumbed to- “None of you-None of you let yourselves feel a god damn thing. So I did. I felt enough, cried enough, so you all didn’t have to feel bad about yourselves. You could pity me - the stupid crybaby -you didn’t have to worry about yourselves. I did that for you.” Past tense, he’s talking in the past tense now. A growl rumbles within Onyx’s throat, and he gives a frustrated, but gargled, yell. _

_ “Sleep well,” Jack started again, steeling himself as he aimed his hand, “My friend.”  _

_ The shot is fired, Onyx’s blood spills out onto himself, onto the ground - and then he falls. Over the edge, out of sight. Jack walks over to the edge himself to make sure and he didn’t see any ashes flying up, but he also didn’t see any signs of dispersal. If the shot didn’t kill Onyx, the fall definitely or blood loss would regardless. Silva gives him a farewell, a good work, before going to deal with the Queen’s body. But Jack stays, staring over the edge of the cliff for a moment longer. _

_ “And thank you.” He finally mumbled. _

* * *

“He...cries so we don’t have to?” Louis’s voice pulled him out of his own personal memory echo. “I don’t think I follow.”

“You’re not someone who cries easily, are you?” Louis doesn’t answer, and that spoke volumes. “You’re someone who worries more about other people, you don’t care what happens to yourself as long as they are safe. Onyx is the same way but takes it a step further. If you aren’t someone who shows emotions, then Onyx takes it upon himself to show them for you. His knack for knowing what someone is feeling is almost like a Gift itself. But it’s a double-edged sword. He’s too soft for his own good, he could get blinded by those emotions. Soon, he’ll be doing the same thing he accuses others of doing, shutting out his own emotions to only focus on others.”

There’s a silence for a moment before Jack finally pulls himself off of the rubble and steps closer to Louis. He slaps a hand down on the shorter’s shoulder, and Louis grunts. It was like one of Yakumo’s friendly slaps, but with much more meaning behind it. “I’m not asking for much. Just be there for him. I don’t want to have to kill him a second time because he forgot to focus on what was right in front of him.”

“...Thank you, for telling me.” Jack pulled his hand off of Louis’s shoulder and was about to go back into the church when Louis spoke up. “But why can’t you? If you knew how he felt, why come to me?”

“As I said, he trusts you.”

“He seems to trust you as well.”

Jack shakes his head. “No. He trusts _some form of me_ he saw in a vestige. Besides - he’s still scared of me, jumps when I’m nearby, flinches when I speak. He doesn’t need someone like me.” Jack looks back at Louis, and Louis can’t help but think that he looks ... _ sad _ . “He needs someone like you.”

“Jack...How close were you and Onyx?”

The tension in the air could have been cut with one of their weapons at that very moment. Louis almost regretted asking. Almost. 

“I’ve told you enough stories for one day.” With that said, Jack gave a wave before turning back towards the church and walking inside, leaving Louis on the terrace with his thoughts. But he wasn’t in solitude for very long, because as he leaned against the stone railing, he felt someone walk up next to him. He peaked through his bangs to see Onyx.

“You were talking with Jack for a while, something wrong?”

“No, No we were just talking.” Louis decided it was better not to bring up the conversation they had just had. He needed to process it some more and - “Hey, Onyx?”

“Yeah?”

“What...What did they do to your hair?” 

Onyx flushed and put his hands over his head. Now that Louis was properly looking he couldn’t help but chuckle. His hair was now in two buns on top of his head, fake flowers pinned in them, and there were some braided parts as well - besides the locks that were still in front of his face. “E-Eva and Io wanted to do my hair and-” he sighed, lowering his hands. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“It’s cute.”

Onyx’s face flushed worse. “But bad.”

“Not the most stylish, I’ll admit. But it fits you.” Onyx smiled, leaning against the railing with him. 

“Really?”

“Really.”

In fact, Louis found himself staring, but the second he realizes this he looks away. His own face was flushed, but thankfully looking away seemed to have hidden it for the moment. “Are you feeling better, by the way?”

“Hm?”

“You cried a lot today.” Louis looks over once he’s composed himself, and now Onyx isn’t looking at him, in fact, he’s working to pull the flowers out of his hair. Louis reaches over to help, their fingers brush for a moment, but then Onyx drops his hands to let Louis pull the fake flowers out one by one.

Onyx rubs at the bracelet around his wrist, “Yeah, Yeah I’m fine now. Sorry, it must get annoying.”

“Not at all,” Louis reassured, lining the flowers on the stone railing. “It’s alright to cry.” Onyx looks like he wants to say something, but stays quiet. “I used to cry a lot too.” 

“You? Really?”

“Really.” Louis chuckled, pulling out the last flower. Instead of putting it on the ledge, he hands it to Onyx. He smiles and takes it, turning it around in his fingers. “Before the great collapse, I could be quite the crybaby.” Perhaps he was exaggerating, but it certainly felt like he had been one at the time.

“I can’t really picture it.” Onyx laughed, putting the flower with the others, finally. 

“It’s true, Karen would have to comfort me all the time.”

“That sounds like her.”

A tense silence falls over them as Onyx realizes what he had said. One hand reaches up to cover his mouth as he turned away.

“Onyx...have you...regained your memories?” Louis asked. He doesn’t receive a reply at first. He sighs and decides not to push it, reaching up to Onyx’s hair once more. He pulls out the pins keeping the buns in place, letting Onyx’s pink and black hair fall against his back.

“It’s not so much...that I regained my memories.” Onyx finally started to speak. “But that vestige...the one of my memories it was...different.”

“Different how?” 

Onyx shook his head, reaching up to pull his hair over his shoulder. “It was like I was  _ reliving  _ it, not just a spectator. I don’t know if it was because they were my own memories but…”

“That sounds rough. You should have taken Yakumo with you.”

Onyx doesn’t reply to that and kept going. “I didn’t seem to know Karen well,” Onyx took off his headphones that were normally permanently attached to his neck or head. “But she gave me these.”

“She did?” 

Onyx nodded, turning his headphones over in his hands “They’re busted, they don’t work. But she gave me them to help calm me down - so I can put them on and just focus. Or at least, that’s kind of what I gathered from the memories.” 

“You _were_ putting them on for some fights before you even found that vestige.” Louis pointed out, recalling a few events. He remembered one specifically was the large Lost they fought just before running into Jack for the first time.

“I guess my body remembered, even if I didn’t.” Onyx put the headphones back around his neck. “She didn’t seem to mind when I cried so much, she just asked if I needed a shoulder to cry on.”

“That also sounds like her,” Louis said with a soft smile. There was so much he wanted to speak with Karen about but…. she was a successor, she couldn’t move from the Source. Onyx was a successor too, but he was different. He was special. “Onyx I…” He tried, but as Onyx looked over at him, words suddenly became difficult. He couldn’t very well tell him what Jack had told him, so how would he go about this…. “If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you’re welcome to come to me.”

Pink eyes widened and stared holes into him. He was never sure what to do, what to feel when Onyx stared at him. It used to be so void of any kind of real emotion - but maybe that’s just because he had still been trying to work out who he was after losing all of his memories. Now there’s almost too much emotion in those eyes. That heart-shaped shine in his left eye growing by the day. Jack was right to be worried - with how shocked Onyx appeared to be over someone caring about him...how long was he going to try to do things alone? Even though he shared memories with Io...how much of his emotions did he share with her, if at all?

The pink eyes finally soften, and Onyx reaches over to put one of his hands over Louis’s on the railing. “Thanks, Louis. I appreciate it.” 

Louis nods, putting his other hand over Onyx’s. “You can rely on me, on all of us. You know that, don’t you?” Onyx nods. “Good. Now, why don’t you go get some rest-” Onyx rolls his eyes and tries to pull his hand out of Louis’s grasp, and Louis doesn’t let him. 

“Hey-”

“Don’t make me force you to have another rest day, Onyx.”

“We really don’t have time for—”

“Yakumo!” Louis called suddenly, and the redhead poked his head out from around the bar. 

“Yeah?”

“Louis, _I swear_ —” Onyx grunted, yanking his hands out of Louis’s grasp.

“Onyx is tired, help him to one of the back rooms - would you?”

Yakumo thankfully seemed to understand the situation, and with a wide grin on his face, stood up from the bar. “On it.”

“Yakumo, **don’t you _dare_**!”

Thus Eva and Jack witnessed the not so rare event of ‘Onyx-wrangling’. Onyx ran around the church for a moment, trying to get away from Yakumo and Louis - even taking to hiding behind Io at some point. But when she started insisting that he sleep as well, he (playfully) called her a traitor before going to hide behind the bar- right in front of where Jack and Eva were sitting together. 

“Well, aren’t you all lively,” Eva commented, looking over the edge of the bar at Onyx while Jack sipped away at a drink.

“They’re trying to make me sleep.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Eva tilted her head.

“Not when he insists he never needs to rest it isn’t!” Yakumo said, coming up to the bar and leaning over it with Eva. Onyx gives something akin to a squeak before trying to crawl away. “You’re not getting away from me!” Thus started another game of cat and mouse, Onyx and Yakumo running around the front and back of the bar. Almost everyone seemed to be laughing at the sight, or at least not bothered by the constant noise. After everything that had happened today, a good laugh is what they needed. After all, Onyx had cried all the tears needed to be shed- now laughter needed to fill the air instead of sobs.

With a sigh, Jack finished off the drink that was in his grasp before putting the glass down on the table. “Alright.” He mumbled, turning in his chair slightly.

“Jack?” Eva called, but soon she got her answer on what he had moved. He stuck his leg out just as Onyx was making another lap around the bar, effectively tripping the other successor and causing him to fall onto the ground.

“Hey!” Onyx laughed, though he wasn’t laughing for long as it was replaced by a surprised yelp as Yakumo took the chance to pick him up off of the ground and throw him over his shoulder. “ _Hey_!” He said again this time with a huff as he tried to wiggle himself out of Yakumo’s grip. “No fair! _Jack_!”

“Hey, if you’re going to just collapse in the middle of the floor, maybe you do need to rest.” Onyx stared, dumbfounded as Jack told such a blatant lie and simply turned back around in his seat afterward.

“Whatever happened to successor solidarity, huh?! C’mon Jack!”

Everyone laughed as Coco poured Jack another drink and Yakumo carried Onyx to one of the back rooms. 

Onyx may have cried because no one else would let themselves do so - but everyone could also laugh wholeheartedly because of Onyx. He made them feel light, without burden, free. As Jack drank his second round he couldn’t help but think of how much that was a double-edged sword. “Sleep well, Onyx.” At the very least, it wouldn’t be a permanent sleep this time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I know I'm just like a dialogue machine but I tried really hard this time to be more....idk descriptive with my words and have more imagery - let me know if it works? Also, I'm sorry the story jumps around a lot, that's just how it ended up happening.


End file.
